Saturday, July 25, 2015

Focus on Single Parents?

A family structure consist of Mother, Father and Child. Singapore's stand- Family forms the building block of the Nation, everything starts from Family/Home.

There has been much talk about the birth rate, baby bonus and maternity leave. But single unwed mums don't get the same perks as married, divorced or widowed mums.

Prominent sociologist Chua Beng Huat made the argument that if more mothers were encouraged to keep their babies, Singapore would have added to its population.

He argued that Singapore has about 12,000 abortions a year, due in part to single mothers fearing the social stigma that comes with raising a child in such circumstances.

Elaborating on his views, he tells the media that Singapore should follow the example of France and some Scandinavian countries, where single mothers get more acceptance.

In those countries, a permissiveness in family structures has sustained high birth rates - at times higher among unmarried couples than married ones, he says.

"Giving benefits to single parents is not the same as encouraging single motherhood," he says. If a single unwed mother works, she is entitled to 12 weeks of maternity leave and two days of childcare leave a year until the child turns seven.

But unlike married, divorced or widowed mothers, these mothers do not get the Baby Bonus cash gift or Marriage and Parenthood tax benefits.

Aware has also consistently petitioned the Government to help single mothers as one way to boost the birth rate.

In a press release, it said that the continued denial of maternity and parenting benefits for the families of unwed mothers was a "disappointing omission" from the Government's most recent enhancement of the Marriage and Parenthood package.

It felt that the policy to deny benefits to unwed mothers also contradicts the Government's direction to give every child an equal start in life.

Assistant Professor Teo You Yenn, an Aware board member and a sociology lecturer at the Nanyang Technological University, adds: "We would further add that discrimination is detrimental to building an inclusive society and a sense of community, where people feel a sense of mutual responsibility towards each others' well-being."

Most of 4,646 people surveyed: No

WHO: 80 per cent of single respondents and 85 per cent of married respondents in a survey contacted by the National Population And Talent Division - part of the Prime Minister's Office

WHAT: The majority of the 4,646 respondents felt that only legally married couples should have children

While Singaporeans are generally sympathetic to the plight of single mothers, most still feel that children should only be for those who are married.

Mr Lim Soon Hock, chairman of the National Family Council points to the survey and says: "This reflects that our society is not quite ready to accept children born outside wedlock.

"Although we want more babies to add to our population, the issue is whether, as a society, we want to encourage children born out of wedlock."

Housewife Susan Koh, 50, married with one daughter, 18, and son, 14, agrees.

"There are a lot of single unwed mothers nowadays, but it still doesn't mean that premarital sex is right.

"We should get married first before having children. I mean, we can't possibly be encouraging women to become single mothers, right?"

Dr Ho Kong Weng, assistant professor in the Division of Economics, Nanyang Technological University, said in an article he contributed to the Business Times in 2010: "The single parent, usually the mother, has to struggle between household production and her career outside her home, facing more tension in work-life balance, and her child could likely face emotional tension as well without complete care from both parents, financially and otherwise.

"Consequently, the children from disrupted families may not perform academically as well as those from intact families. In adulthood, these children are more likely to fall behind in terms of economic status, meaning diminished upward mobility."

Mr Lim also rubbishes claims that policies unfriendly to single unwed mums encourage women to have abortions.

Abortion rates and a society's acceptance of births outside of wedlock may only have a tenuous link, he says.

"Societies with high acceptance of single parents do not necessarily have significantly lower abortion rates.

"The decision to abort a pregnancy or otherwise is a very personal one, affected by many factors."

The Ministry of Social and Family Development also feels that the decision to abort a baby is deeply personal.

All single parents have access to social assistance, says its spokesman.

"If they face financial difficulties or require social assistance, they can approach any of the Community Development Councils or Family Service Centres for assistance."

Help Family Service Centre, for example, provides counselling and casework services for single parents and their children.


Should single mums get the same perks?

Single mums: Yes

She was delighted with her pregnancy in 2009.

She was 35 then. Her biological clock was ticking, and she wanted to settle down with her then-boyfriend, a foreigner.

But four months into her pregnancy, Ms Elvi Yuliani, 39, realised that the relationship was not working out.

Her boyfriend had come to Singapore in the hope of setting up his own business. But there were problems with his employment pass application, and he had to go back home.

"I didn't want to be pregnant in a foreign country," says Ms Elvi, who works in the IT department in a multinational company.

Abortion was a choice, but she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life.

"I knew that if I kept the baby, I may have to use up all my savings. And I was fine with that. It's my own daughter we are talking about," she says.

But Ms Elvi considers herself lucky as a single mother. She did not face discrimination when she went for a job interview at her current workplace.

"I know that many single parents really struggle... I'm happy things worked out and I have a job," she says.

Despite holding a stable job, this single parent struggles with her finances. She draws a salary of about $4,000 monthly, just enough to feed her mother, daughter Emily and herself.

Childcare centres and maids are "luxuries" that Ms Elvi cannot afford.

"We don't get the Baby Bonus because we are not legally married. But we need the money more. How do we put our children in childcare if we only have enough to get by?" she laments.

Ms Felicia Tay, 48, has never regretted having two children out of wedlock, with two different men. The pet groomer says: "They are my pride and joy."

She was previously married, and divorced, in her early 20s.

She was 27 when she had her first son, Julian, in 1992, before the Marriage and Parenthood Package was introduced in 2001.

She had gone out with Julian's father - an interior designer - for a year when she discovered she was pregnant.

She says: "Julian's father asked me to get an abortion. He told me straight in the face that he wasn't ready to be a father."

So Ms Tay proceeded with the pregnancy alone.

Facing relatives and friends was a major hurdle for her.

She also felt that her colleagues were making fun of her behind her back. But it was not only social pressure that she had to deal with.

After the boy was born, she lived in her sister's four-room flat in Hougang. She could not buy an HDB flat as she was not married and was under the age of 35. When she went to work, her mother would look after the boy.

When Ms Tay had a second child out of wedlock - this time with a foreigner - things got even harder. Her mother was not free to to take care of her newborn daughter Victoria. So for two years, Ms Tay took the baby to work.

When her children were older, she sent them to nurseries and childcare centres. Julian is now 21, Victoria, nine, and they live in a four-room flat in Tampines.

Although Ms Tay is no longer shy about being a single mother, she hopes to warn others of the challenges of being one.

"It will be a long hard road ahead.

"You will have to be financially stable if you want to go all the way with your kids."


What married parents and unwed mums get

Married parents of Singaporean children generally get:

- Baby Bonus: $6,000 cash each for first and second child, and $8,000 each for third and fourth child.

- Parenthood Tax Rebate of $5,000 for their first child, $10,000 for the second child, and $20,000 for the third and each subsequent child.

- 16 weeks of paid maternity leave

- 1 week of paid paternity leave

- Six days of paid childcare leave a year if the child is below seven years old, or two days if the child is aged seven to 12.

- Subsidies for infant care and childcare

- Levy concession for foreign domestic worker

- Medisave grant for newborns

- MediShield coverage for congenital and neonatal conditions


Unwed mums of Singaporean babies generally get:

- No Baby Bonus

- No Parenthood Tax Rebate

- 12 weeks of maternity leave, of which eight weeks are paid

- Two days of paid childcare leave if the child is below seven years old

- Subsidies for infant care and childcare - Levy concession for foreign domestic worker

- Medisave grant for newborns

- MediShield coverage for congenital and neonatal conditions


Let us all put our heads, hearts and hands together and help to make Singapore a truly inclusive place to live in. 

No comments:

Post a Comment